


Nothing to hide

by harrypotterwholock



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, Eating Disorders, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:35:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24308335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrypotterwholock/pseuds/harrypotterwholock
Summary: Imagine Sherlock finding out about your eating disorder and comforting you.~Trigger warning for eating disorders, implied self harm and implied sexual abuse~
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	Nothing to hide

#  Nothing to hide 

She stuck her sore fingers down her throat as she heard a loud bang at the end of the corridor. Sherlock must’ve come off of his heroine trip earlier than she had anticipated. Quickly she flushed the toilet and washed out her mouth with mouth wash to cover up the smell of vomit. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she noticed that her eyes were bloodshot from the violent vomiting. They looked huge in her face, her cheekbones sticking out, just like the other bones of her body. An hour earlier she had fallen back into old behaviors, bingeing on all of the food she found in their cupboards. It took a good half an hour to rid herself of the junk she had ingested and her knuckles were red and raw. Outside of the bathroom door Sherlock went into the kitchen, probably to make himself a cuppa tea. Anxiously she took a last glance at her reflection in the mirror and stepped out of the bathroom. 

"Sherlock, dear, are you up already? I thought you’d be knocked out until tomorrow noon at least." She said, watching him sit in his armchair with his eyes closed.  
"Yes darling, I estimated that as well, but it seems like Wiggins has made a fault during the production process." he answered.  
As he said this, he snapped open his eyes and scanned her over, leaning back in his chair.  
"I’m going to need some time to settle, sweetheart. Why don’t you go out with a couple of your girl friends?"  
"Oh, thats a lovely idea Sherlock, but I’m having a bit of a migraine today. I think I’m gonna go to my room and read a bit. Get some rest, darling" 

Sherlock didn’t answer as he was already in his own world, fingers propped up against his chin. Hurriedly, in an attempt to flee this encounter as fast as possible, she retreated into my room and let herself fall onto her bed. The silken sheets, printed with flowers, were soft against her skin and gave her a piece of comfort in her woeful state of mind. Curling up under the covers, she looked up at the water stained ceiling and began to cry silently. Didn’t he notice the amount of distress she was in? It was very unlikely that a genius like him wasn’t able to deduce what had happened from her physical symptoms. In this moment, she felt more alone than she had in the last ten years, ever since she befriended John and Sherlock, who freed her out of her miserable world. 

For years she had been abused by her boyfriend, being hit, kicked, yelled at and forced to have sex with him. On a particularly bad occasion, neighbors had heard her screams and called the police. The officers came accompanied by Sherlock and John, who had offered her to come to their apartment, as she had no family she could have turned to. At first, Sherlock wasn’t too keen on having his routines disrupted by an intruder and, because of this, decided to ignore her completely. However, as she and John got to know each other and Sherlock eavesdropped on their conversations, he got interested in her and got jealous. It was just the second time he had shown interest in any woman who wasn’t his mother, the first being Irene Adler. Her appeal to him laid in her intelligence and expertise, as she was a well known mathematician. Since then, she had helped him with a few of his cases, calculating probabilities and running simulations for him. 

She thought back at all the things, he and John had done for her to help her build a new and stable life and immediately felt guilty for falling back into her harmful behaviors. She hadn’t made herself throw up or cut herself for almost two years and never in the presence of John or Sherlock. Anxiously, she thought about the consequences she would get into if Sherlock found out about her ill behaviors. She pressed her fingernails into her skin until it bled to alleviate some of the emotional pressure. 

* * * 

Sherlock on the other hand sat in the living room and reviewed all of the things he noticed about Evelyn in his mind palace. What had he noticed about her? Unfortunately his mind was still mildly foggy from the drugs he had indulged in the night before. Surely there had been something off about her behavior. Normally, she would complain about his drug habit and would urge him to pursue a drug withdrawal. Today however, she had been urgently trying to get away from him, to withdraw herself from his deductive gaze. 

He remembered some physical abnormalities about her: Her eyes were red and her salivary glands swollen. Sherlock reprimanded himself for not looking at her more closely, but he had still been in a state of dream.  
"Well, I will have to get a look at her then." he thought.  
"Evy, would you like to order something for lunch today? How about Chinese?" he called after her. 

She didn’t answer him. Now suspicious, he wandered off towards her door and cracked the door open just enough to be able to get a look at her bed. Evelyn was curled up in a fetal position under the covers, her chest rising and falling heavily. The sight made Sherlocks heart ache and twist. Hesitantly, he opened the door completely and approached his girlfriend.  
"Evy, are you all right? What’s going on?" He asked worriedly.  
Startled she turned around to face him, wiping her face, so as to not let him see her weakness.  
"Sure, Sherl, everything’s ok. I’ve just got a bad headache, that’s all."  
He watched her closely and sat down next to her on the bed, brushing her sweaty hair out of her face.  
"Do you want anything? I wanted to ask you if you fancy a cuppa tea or some Chinese for lunch?"  
A panicky expression flashed over her face, but she regained her composure back almost immediately. Of course Sherlock had observed her reaction.  
"No thanks, dear. I’m feeling a bit nauseous today."  
"Should I stay with you for a bit and comfort you?" he asked, taking her hand from under the blanket.  
He shot a glance at her hand, to confirm his deductions.  
"When were you planning to tell me about your relapse?"  
Wide-eyed she looked at him.  
"What do you mean with „relapsed“? I’m just having a bad day!" She told him sharply.  
He gripped her hand and turned it upwards  
"Do you really think I’d miss these signs? I’m not an imbecile, so don’t lie to me! You have the Russells signs, and your salivary glands are swollen. To me, the situation is clear. So why don’t you speak it out yourself?"  
"I don’t want to speak it out. I haven’t done it in years, so technically I’m recovered"  
"You call this recovered?" He snarled. "You should accept that you have a problem!"  
"I should admit that I have a problem? Why don’t you start to work on your drug addiction first? MY addiction certainly isn’t as harmful as yours!"  
Sherlocks gaze turned soft and he leaned forward. His voice turned to a soft whisper.  
"Is it not? You’ve gotten smaller and smaller over the last weeks and if you plan to throw up the rest of the little food you’re eating, you’re going to starve to death. And believe me, I myself have eaten little food during my drug sprees." 

Evelyn began to cry silently, her shoulders rising and falling fast. She hiccuped as she tried to stifle a sob. Sherlock lifted up the blanket and crawled into the bed next to her. Carefully he wrapped his arms around her and drew her head into his chest. Trying to calm her, he rocked her back and forth. 

"Shhh, it’s going to be okay, sweetheart, you needn’t worry about any of it. I love you, no matter what. In my eyes, you're beautiful just the way you are. I primarily love you for your intelligence and your vast personality, not for your looks or body. It tortures me to see you unhappy about something so unimportant"  
Lovestruck, he trailed the lines of her lips and her cheekbones with his fingers. He drew her closer to him and moved his hands on her back in circles.  
"I know it’s silly, it’s just that my family has always let me think I was never good enough for them. I always thought I could only be loved if I satisfied their expectations."  
"Don’t ever think you aren’t good enough for me. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. If it wasn’t for you, I think I would have already turned towards criminality, to distract myself from the mundane world"  
He kissed her softly and ran his fingers through her auburn hair. Peacefully they laid together until the sun set and they both fell into a quiet slumber.


End file.
